Counseling
Behaviors that involve deception, denial, contradiction, and invalidation are difficult to spot. Abusers often disguise these methods as harmless or blame their victims.
As a psychotherapist who treats emotional abuse survivors, I realized the lack of language to identify emotional abuse tactics and their intended effects creates a barrier to protection and healing.
Read MoreControlling people often disguise their abusive behavior as harmless and blame their partners for the strife in their relationship. As a result, their partners struggle to determine whether or not the treatment is part of a normal relationship. They are conflicted about who is at fault.
Read MoreYou and your new man are in a cozy corner at a trendy restaurant enjoying candlelight and conversation. You’ve been spending a lot of time together and you think he may be the one. The server appears and places your entrées on the table. “This isn’t what I ordered!” he barks to the server. “Do you have a problem understanding English?” His outburst snaps you out of a dreamy trance. Hostility over a minor incident is a dramatic departure from the kind and caring man you were getting to know.
Read More“It’s best for the kids. You’re being selfish,” said Peter, Alice’s ex-husband and the father of Annie and Brian, their 18-year-old daughter and 21-year-old-son. Peter’s insistence on dropping by Alice’s house at his whim made it difficult for her to build a new life. Peter had a girlfriend, but he also enjoyed family life with Alice, Annie, and Brian. As he had during their marriage, he used her love and concern for the kids to get his way.
Read MoreWhen I was 26 years old I fell in love with a tall, blond, and witty guy who had loyal friends and a likable family. He owned a growing business and I liked his take-charge style. We had fun together.
Early in our relationship there were signs of trouble, but I explained them away. I saw his occasional fits of jealousy as expressions of love. I interpreted his tendency to point out my shortcomings as helping me to be my best self. I considered his moodiness the result of a stressful day. Nothing could corrupt my idea that I found my Prince Charming.
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