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Does Your Partner

Home – Intro

Does your partner do or say things that hurt you?

You’ve been living with it for a while, but the emotional pain is getting harder and harder to take.

You feel anxious or depressed, but don’t understand what’s happening or what to do about it.

If you’re like many of my counseling clients, you’re in a relationship where you care for your partner, but your partner isn’t treating you right.

It’s not like

It’s not like your partner hits you or anything…

It’s the way your partner speaks to you, or the things that your partner does that are upsetting. Some of your partner’s behaviors are obviously hurtful.

AND…

Some of the behaviors may seem almost insignificant and are hard to name–yet they leave you feeling sad, frustrated, or angry. Sometimes you wonder if you’re taking things too seriously. You get confused and wonder if the trouble is your fault, or if you are going crazy.

Even if your partner physically abuses you, you question whether or not you provoked the treatment.

Behaviors of your partner that cause distress:

  • calls you names, criticizes you, or puts you down in private or in public
  • scares you by yelling at you for seemingly little or no reason
  • makes promises to you, but fails to keep them
  • doesn’t listen to you and discounts your feelings
  • lies to you and then denies it when you ask questions
  • confuses you and causes you to doubt yourself
  • leaves you feeling empty when you try to resolve an issue in your relationship
  • tries to control what you do, who you see, how you spend your money
  • ignores you or doesn’t speak to you as a way of punishing you
  • blames you for most everything, especially the problems the two of you are having
  • makes excuses for spending an excessive amount of time away from you or the family
  • is selfish sexually; doesn’t seem to care about your needs
  • doesn’t treat the children right or support you as a parent
  • has had an emotional or physical affair

Take these quizzes to learn more about your relationship.

Emotional Abuse

Home – Emotional Abuse Erodes Your Self-Esteem

Emotional abuse erodes your self-esteem.

All of the above are forms of emotional abuse. When you have been subjected to these and other abuse tactics, over time it damages your self-esteem, weakens your vitality, and causes you to doubt yourself and your ability to determine what’s right and what’s wrong. Granted, most couples argue and sometimes say and do things they regret afterwards. They make apologies and improve their behavior.

By contrast, in emotionally abusive relationships, there is an ongoing pattern of abusive treatment by one partner against the other that can lead the abused one to depression, anxiety, panic attacks, exhaustion, alcohol or drug abuse, over-spending and more. Also, it can contribute to, or cause a variety of health problems. In some relationships, both partners are abusive to each other.

Part of you

Part of you wants to leave your partner, but it’s hard to do.

You love your partner and value the security of being in a relationship, or don’t want to split up your family. You may be concerned about exposing the difficulty in your relationship to friends and family. You might fear damaging your or your partner’s standing in the community. You might be afraid that people won’t believe that your partner treats you badly at home, because your partner is a different person around others.

But you know you deserve better. Or you’re not sure if your partner means to hurt you. You might wonder if you are the problem–if only you were more tolerant or a better person, your relationship would improve.

It’s very confusing at times. You hurt, and you’re tired of being treated this way, but…

You’re not sure what to do.

You keep tolerating your partner’s hurtful behavior. You keep giving your partner another chance. You keep hoping things will change for the better.

BUT, even if the behavior improves, it’s only temporary. Your partner falls back into the same disturbing behavior.

You know it’s time to get help: You think you deserve better.

You trust that a counselor can help. You want to be happy. You want help in deciding what you need to do. You want your life back.

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Online counseling can help you

Home – Counseling can help you

Online counseling can help you:

  • release pent-up feelings in a safe, supportive, and confidential place
  • get validation about what is happening
  • gain deeper insight into yourself and your relationship
  • describe the hurtful tactics and their effects
  • understand the reasons your partner is abusive and how you got involved in an emotionally abusive relationship
  • affirm what you need and deserve
  • increase your feelings of self worth
  • grow stronger and feel more empowered
  • handle the issues more effectively
  • find ways to protect your children
  • decide what you want to do
  • leave the relationship if you decide to
  • heal your wounds

Imagine what it would be like

Imagine what it would be like to be free of the anxiety and despair you are experiencing right now.

Amy helped me to see all the emotionally abusive tactics that my partner was using against me, like blaming, criticism, and twisting the truth. Now that I know what he’s doing, I’m in a better position to protect myself. —49-year-old female

Specialized Online Therapy for Those in Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Amy BearHi, my name is Amy Bear. I’m a therapist who is passionate about helping people who are in hurtful relationships.

I’m also the author of the book, From Charm to Harm: The Guide to Spotting, Naming, and Stopping Emotional Abuse in Intimate Relationships.

I understand emotional abuse in all its forms and guises from a personal and professional perspective. We will work together to help you gain clarity about your relationship and face the issues with skill and confidence.

I offer a non-judgmental, compassionate environment to help you heal and take charge of your life.

You don’t have to continue this way. A better life is possible.

Contact me to find out how I can help you have the life you want and deserve

From Charm to Harm

Home – Book

From Charm to Harm

The Guide to Spotting, Naming, and Stopping Emotional Abuse in Intimate Relationships

“Amy has written an important book that explains what happens when men and women play out their childhood wounds with their intimate partners. She puts words to the many and varied ways that people hurt themselves and others as a result. Her book is a valuable tool for those involved in emotionally abusive relationships.”

– John Gray, PhD., Author of the phenomenal #1 bestseller,

Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus

read more

From the Blog

Recognizing the Effects of a Controlling Relationship

Controlling behaviors are often hard to distinguish from the normal experience of being in a relationship. If you suspect your partner is controlling, look for clues in how your partner’s behavior affects you.  Do you feel like you’re twisting yourself into a pretzel to gain approval or keep up with an endless stream of expectations?  Do Read More.

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Recognizing the Pain of Emotional Invalidation

“You’re overreacting,” Jake told Amanda. “It’s no big deal.” Amanda looked at Jake with disbelief. He said he planned to go on a fishing trip with his male friends over the weekend. But he neglected to tell her that his ex-girlfriend would be there. When Amanda found out, she expressed her hurt feelings. Over the Read More.

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Soul man - image by Gerd Altmann

Childhood Pain Can Lead to Adult Relationship Abuse

Children who sustained painful emotional wounds from their parents and others can carry that pain into adulthood. Their adult relationships bring up their original pain and cause a lot of inner conflict. Often it is easier to inflict that pain onto their partners rather than look inward for the real source of their hurt, anger, and resentment.

Read More

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Contact Info

Amy Lewis Bear, MS, LPC Therapist
404-592-1256
(US voice mail only)

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